The Impact of Estrangement on Mental Health
Have you limited your communication and interactions with a family member, or stopped them entirely? If so, you’re not alone.
Family estrangement is a silent struggle that affects many individuals, often leaving deep emotional scars.
Estrangement occurs when family members intentionally cut ties or become emotionally disconnected. Sometimes this is abrupt and happens all at once, and other times it is a slow severing of the relationship.
We are created for connection and family bonds are often some of the closest connections we have.
According to statistics published by Psychology Today, over 25% of the U.S. population is currently estranged from a family member, and more than 43% have experienced family estrangement at some point during their lives.
Causes of Estrangement
The reasons for estrangement can vary widely—from unresolved conflicts and betrayal to differing values or lifestyles.
In many cases, estrangement is necessary, such as when neglect and abuse have occurred. Many families also become estranged after divorce, incarceration, illness, or death, or due to conflicts about religion, partners, and lifestyle choices.
Regardless of the cause, the impact is real and can be devastating.
Outcomes of Estrangement
Unfortunately, even if you feel that it’s important to cut off contact with a family member, estrangement can still take a toll on your mental health. For example, estrangement can often lead to:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Difficulty self-regulating
- Feelings of rejection
- Grief
- Loneliness
- Reduced self-esteem
- Stress
- Trust issues
Although estrangement can result from a singular event, it often develops over time. Family members may separate, reconcile, and then repeat that cycle over and over again. When this happens, the resulting lack of closure can be confusing and not leave one feeling lost on where the relationships stands.
Even if it is known that the relationship is unhealthy or toxic, and you are making the right choice, there is still a feeling of loss; sometimes this manifests as anger or anxiety.
The sense of loss is comparable to mourning a death, with the added complexity of unresolved issues and lingering hope for reconciliation.
Navigating family dynamics and relational conflict can be very disorienting in the mix of different personality traits, communication styles, belief systems and your own desires. Often we feel we "should" be close to a parent, or there is an unstable attachment style taking place.
Get Support Today
Estrangement can have a huge impact on our lives, whether we are the one being blocked out, or the one doing the blocking and boundary setting.
If you’re currently estranged from a parent, a sibling, a child, or another loved one, it’s important that you prioritize your own mental health and well-being.
One of the best things you can do is speak to a therapist who specializes in estrangement and family dynamics. Often with estrangement there are deep underlying root causes and issues to unearth and address. Reach out today and we would be honored to support you in this season.