7 Red Flags in a Relationship

Navigating relationships are no easy feat. Anyone that has been in a serious relationship knows this. But sometimes it isn't so clear what is to be accepted and tolerated as normal human behavior, and what is a red flag that is a deal breaker. 

While there is no perfect human out there, we do believe that some behavior should not be tolerated in a romantic relationship.

Choosing to walk away from an important relationship is difficult and sometimes it is the best step you can take toward love and finding secure attachments.  Read on to learn about red flags to look out for.                                         

Excessive Jealousy

Example: They frequently interrogate you regarding your social life or becomes upset when you spend time away from them.

Why It’s Not to Be Dismissed: Chronic jealousy is a red flag for possessiveness.

What to Do: Call out the behavior explicitly with clear boundaries and how it makes you feel. If the jealousy doesn’t subside or gets worse, you might consider stepping away from the relationship. 

Disrespectful Behavior

Example: They constantly belittle or criticize you, both privately and in front of others.

Why It’s Not to Be Dismissed: Because a lack of respect is often a red flag that presages a period of emotional abuse, or worse, and it can make you feel bad about yourself.

What to Do: Tell them how you feel. If they don't make an effort to rectify the situation, it could be time to walk away. 

Inconsistent or Evasive Communication

Example: They never answer direct questions pertaining to their life.

Why It’s Not to Be Dismissed: Evasive communication signals untrustworthiness or lack of commitment.

How to Handle it: Tell them that you want honesty and, if they continue to evade your questions, it might be time to re-evaluate the relationship. 

Anger Issues

Example: They have explosive reactions to minor issues or regularly lose their temper inappropriately.

Why It’s Not to Be Dismissed: When outbursts happen all too frequently, there are signs that your partner has real anger management issues and could be a candidate for verbal or physical abuse.

How to Handle it: Get them some help with anger management, and if they refuse or the behavior continues, you have to put yourself first and get out. 

Controlling Behavior

For example: They demands to know your schedule; they tells you who you can see or what you can do; they keeps tabs on you.

Why you shouldn’t ignore it: Controlling behavior is likely to be an attempt to dominate and limit your autonomy and can be damaging emotionally and lead to abuse.

What to Do: Stick to boundaries and make it clear that you need some space. If they don't respect this, it’s worth evaluating whether you’re in a healthy relationship. 

Lack of Accountability

Example: They never admits fault or blames others for their mistakes and problems. Does not take ownership.

Why It’s Not to Be Dismissed: A refusal to take accountability can be a way to avoid facing up to one’s shortcomings and/or the need to do some work on the relationship – and to push problems into the background so they can fester, unresolved.

What You Can Do: Express your needs for accountability and see if they make efforts to remedy their actions. 

Disregard for Boundaries

Example: They often cross your boundaries, such as going through your things or pressuring you to engage in activities you don’t want to engage in.

Why It’s Not to Be Dismissed: Boundary violations can indicate disrespect for you, and a lack of respect can easily cross into more serious violations of your personal space and personal sovereignty.

What To Do: Lay out your boundaries and make it clear that you take them seriously. If they keeps stepping over them, take care of your own self-respect, and reconsider the relationship. 

Relationship Green Flags

One of my favorite “green flags” in a partner is consistent and respectful communication. This means they actively listen to you, value your opinions, and engage in open, honest conversations. 

This is a sign that they are committed to understanding and valuing your perspective, which helps foster a strong and healthy relationship. This green flag is crucial because it builds trust and demonstrates a genuine interest in maintaining a meaningful relationship.

Need Support Assessing Your Relational Health?

At Nobile Psychology, we have a non-judgmental approach to navigating relational conflict and red flags. We want both partners to succeed and be heard. Reach out today for a free consultation.